Top Ten Ways The Bible Would Be Different If It Were Written By College Students

10. Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips.

9. Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced and written in a large font.

8. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.

7. Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans.

6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

5. The place where the end of the world occurs: not Armageddon, but Finals.

4. Book of Arguments would be in there somewhere.

3. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman.

2. Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.

1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.

Top Ten Reasons to be an Episcopalian

10. No Snake handling.

9. You can believe in dinosaurs.

8. Male and female God created them; male and female we ordain them.

7. You don't have to check your brains at the door.

6. Pew aerobics.

5. Church year is color-coded.

4. Free wine on Sunday.

3. All of the pageantry - none of the guilt.

2. You don't have to know how to swim to get baptized.

...and the #1 reason to be Episcopalian:

1. No matter what you believe, there's bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.